Life Balanced

I can’t remember how I found out about the book The Five Love Languages, but I recently revisited it and realized how valuable it is not only for romantic relationships, but also for relationships with friends and family members.

The basic concept is that by understanding how your partner/family member likes to have love expressed to them (by knowing their primary love language), you can be a more effective communicator of love, which ultimately results in a stronger, more authentic relationship.

The languages are:

1. Words of affirmation - Verbal communication such as “I’m really proud of you” or “You look great today.”
2. Quality time - Time without distractions and completely focused on the other person.
3. Receiving gifts - It doesn’t need to cost a lot of money, it just needs to be a visible sign
4. Physical touch - This doesn’t just mean sex
5. Acts of service - Doing tasks, chores or favors that your partner will appreciate

When I ask others what their love language is, they usually pick a couple. Of course I like receiving them all, but for me it is primarily words of affirmation and quality time.

What is also important to be aware of is how you feel most comfortable expressing love. For example, if you are someone who feels most comfortable doing acts of service, you might go out of your way to help your partner with errands/chores. But if his/her primary love language is quality time, he/she might be frustrated or unappreciative because you are too busy to make the effort to spend special together.

It is an interesting concept that may require you to step outside your comfort zone, but can result in stronger, more connected relationships.