Life Balanced

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from my friend Rob Styler. He has led a pretty amazing life and I think you will enjoy the story of his interesting journey towards achieving a “Thrive-able” lifestyle.

THRIVE-ABLE

I came up with this term because, to me, “sustainable” has no juice.  Who wants to “sustain.”  We want to grow and thrive.  Too often simplicity and ecological practices have been seen as a sacrifice - but most of us sacrifice our peace of mind everyday.

When I graduated from college I spent two years in Guatemala with the Peace Corps. Having no radio or TV, I often found myself in silence.  It is amazing how creative we become if we avoid mindless distraction. Don’t worry, I am not going to preach about the evils of TV. I have one and I enjoy the mindless distraction.

My point is that simplicity creates freedom. Thoreau said it best:

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.”

When I returned to the U.S., I lost perspective. My Guatemalan bride required surgery to remove her gallbladder and then she began to suffer from endometriosis. The doctor suggested pregnancy as a cure to relieve the pain. 

Suddenly, we were over $20,000 in debt with a child on the way. Money went from being a convenience to becoming a necessity. I joined a small company promoting an environmental mission. This little company, Equinox, ended up becoming the fastest growing privately held corporation in America, according to Inc. magazine. We went from one office to over 400 and made over $200 million in sales our fourth year.

We sold water filters and all sorts of eco-friendly products. Many of the products were great, but the “cult”-ure that was created became fear-based.

I was making tons of money, had all the “stuff,” but I was so busy chasing the dream that I had no time to live it. I was also becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the ethics behind the company.

I had spent seven years building a dream and leading tens of thousand of people down a path I now questioned.

I had a choice. I could ignore my feelings and keep living the “good life” or I could walk away from a steady residual income stream into an unknown future.

One complication was that I had no money in the bank. One of the mantras of Equinox was to buy everything on credit because you were only going to make more money next month. They actually had a term for it, ”Fake-it-till-you-make-it.” I was one of the success stories, but I was still fakin’ it. I was making $20,000 a month and paying last month’s bills with this month’s income. It was crazy.

Just to cover my basic expenses for mortgage, car, food, child support, etc. was $8,000/month. I had never had a “normal job” in my life and I had no idea what I was going to do. I imagined the job interview:  “Yes, I have no experience. But I need to make at least $10,000 a month.”

I went to Chile for a six-week spiritual workshop to get some perspective, and on top of this mountain (see above) I decided to leave Equinox forever. I had no idea what I was going to do for money so I picked up a little book by Stuart Wilde called, “The Trick to Money is Having Some.” Made sense to me.  

The book said you had to ask the Universe for what you want. At this stage I would have hung from my toe nails if I thought it would pay my bills, so I wrote a note to the Universe saying, “I have done some good things in my life and I would like a refund in cash over the next year. I need to get emotionally grounded and clear, and I need some time. Please make sure all my needs are taken care of for one year.”

I know this will sound crazy, but I did not work and all my expenses were covered for 12 months. I got a refund from the bank for $9,000 for a mistake they made earlier, I found a diamond that I sold for $15,000, a friend sent me money for an idea I gave him - money seemed to come from everywhere. It was amazing and wonderful and I have no idea why I did not ask for more than a year. 

Twelve months to the day, the money spigot from the Universe stopped. I sold my house right before they took it. My car was repossessed. I was actually killing and eating rattlesnakes so I could have some protein in my diet.

My friends still tease me about a potluck we had. I was excited to eat some real food, but I needed to bring something so I brought “Fried Rattlesnake with Wild Sage.” The guys loved it. The ladies said that next time I could just come and not bring anything. The whole visual of a six-foot, skinned snake coiled at the bottom of the pan did not do it for them.

About a month into my “year” I started to write. I wanted to gain perspective. I had kept everything bottled up for so long.  The company had a saying, “Don’t piss in the stream. If you feel something negative, keep it to yourself. You have no right to let your fears limit the dreams of others.”

Silence can bring peace, but if you silence your truth, it can tear you apart.

As soon as I started writing, I could not stop. A month later I had 200 pages and I decided to turn it into a book.  I actually got a publisher, but Equinox got wind of it and threatened to sue the publisher, claiming that my book was slander and lies. The publisher backed out. 

Now I definitely was publishing this book. My parents loaned me the money and we self-published, “Spellbound, My Journey Through a Tangled Web of Success.”

I sold a few thousand copies, but the most interesting order was from the Federal Trade Commission that wanted a case of my books. The book ended up inspiring a federal investigation into Equinox and I became the lead witness against my old company. It was a big trial with 30 states filing suit against Equinox. I was on the witness stand for hours as their lawyers tried to trip me up.  

Equinox sued me personally for $2 million in an attempt to keep me quiet, but the end result was that Equinox was shut down for consumer fraud. The owner had to agree never to be involved with network marketing in the U.S., and he was fined $50 million.

I learned many lessons during my seven years with Equinox, but I had no idea what I was in for next.

I worked with a real-estate investment firm in San Diego and then ran a sales organization in Orange County, but deep down I wanted to simplify my life. I wanted to live like I did in Guatemala, but I wanted to do that in Orange County, California - the OC. My son was going to high school in Irvine and I wanted to be close by. Believing completely in the Law of Attraction, I started telling everyone that I was going to simplify my life. I wanted an eco-friendly simple home on two acres in the middle of nature. I wrote this down. I repeated it with passion. I saw it happening.

Friends politely nodded their approval, but they were skeptical. Even if something like this did exist in Orange County, it would be millions of dollars. I confidently went on Craigslist, clicked on the real estate section and typed “environmentally friendly” into the search bar. Only one result came back:

“Cabin on two acres with a trout stream in Orange County. Solar powered. Your water comes from a natural spring. The simple life in So. Cal.”

I wondered if one of my friends was playing a joke as I quickly dialed the number. I asked about the ad and the person on the other line sounded a little confused. 

“How did you find this ad?” 
Now I was the one confused - “It was on Craigslist.”
“But I just hit ‘Post’ about 30 seconds ago.”
“Then I guess your cabin is supposed to be mine.”

I went up there the next morning. He had mentioned that it was a dirt road, but he could have been more descriptive. It was pouring rain and the river crosses the road three times and it was about three feet deep. My little Prius would have been swept away, so I parked and ran the five miles to the cabin. I loved the cabin. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was mine.

I spent about a year living in my little solar cabin, going on long walks, getting clear about what I wanted to with my life - and then I started to feel restless. All this simplicity was making it clear that I wanted to do more with my life. I had all this energy and I wanted to find a mission worthy of my best. I got clear on what the perfect mission for me would be: 

• It had to help support a green world and solve some major challenges. 
• It had to inspire people toward solutions and cooperation.
• It had to be something big enough that it would require my best.

I had simplified my life to a point where I did not have to work. I had some residual income and my needs were so simple that I had all the time I needed to focus on manifesting this mission.

A few weeks later, a friend introduced me to a man who had a concept on how to bring solar power to the masses. I was so excited after that meeting that I called my mom and said, “I would scrub toilets just to be a part of this mission.” They ended up asking me to be president of the sales division.

My cabin has high-speed Internet access and an antenna for a mobile phone, so I am able to run a huge business from my little off-the-grid cabin. We have been able to sign up over 26,000 customers who want our solar solution and we are going to change the way energy is produced and distributed across the world.

My point in sharing all of this is to document that we can create any life we want if we get clear on what we want. By simplifying our lives, we quiet the noise to a point that we can finally hear that small, still voice of wisdom and our lives become “thriveable!”

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